216. If you let mature dating happen as you let dinner digest it's fun

Dating, when we’re considered by society to be mature, or seniors, is a slice of life that seems to amplify the basic struggles most of us feel in life generally. Dating sort of holds our emotional life up where we can examine it pretty easily. A lot of feelings that would normally appear for us over a long period of time are squeezed into a short space and have a lot of energy.

One of the first things we see is that life, reflected up close and personally in our dating, is often a real struggle. We suffer and we’re in pain, and it’s not easy to escape that when things don’t go well with our dating. We struggle with desires and fears. We worry and fret about whether we said or did the right thing. What is our date thinking about us? we wonder. We scramble and sputter as we work at trying to impress our date or partner, and we feel stressed. No wonder senior dating is no fun for so many.

But is it normal to be so obsessed over doing life right? When you think about it, your body calls for very little attention when you’re healthy, except for the normal requirements for food, drink and elimination. It’s only when something is wrong with our bodies that we’re concerned and pay attention.

Yet with our personalities we seem to be always paying attention, as though something is wrong. We worry and stew over all kinds of things that show up dramatically when we’re dating. But does a personality really need to have any designs of its own? Does a person need to be concerned about doing it right in the dating world?

The Life Force that we are expressions of is guiding us effortlessly, even as we’re scheming and negotiating to make our life work. That Life Force takes care of the body’s actions effortlessly and without your attention. Cut your finger and it heals. Eat your food and it digests itself; the energy goes where it’s needed in the body.

The personality, too, has no need to worry about itself. After all, it has no life force of its own; it’s not a separate entity with any separate power at all. It’s every movement and every breath and yes, every thought, is an expression of the Life Force, that intelligent energy that keeps the planets in place and brings us humans into life and takes us out again.

Normal life and normal dating doesn’t need to include stress and strife, when instead we could relax and be guided from within. When that happens life becomes a journey into the unknown, a mystery and a fascinating trip we can watch with interest, and in peace, contentment and joy. That’s our natural state. We’ve all experienced it in those times when we’re so totally engrossed in something that we later notice that life at those moments was totally peaceful and without a problem.

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer