284. Follow your gut instead of your beliefs and dating is happy and enjoyable

Recently I read an article about emotional intimacy in relationships, which I shared with a friend. In recent years she had dated two men who, she said, were really nice guys, with fine qualities. But something was missing which she couldn’t put her finger on. There was nothing really wrong in their friendships but my friend knew she wanted more. It turns out that she wanted to be with someone she could share with on a deep, emotional level, though she couldn’t put that into words at the time.

When she read about emotional intimacy she realized that was what had been missing. Her intuition, or gut, knew something was wrong for her in those relationships but she couldn’t put it into words or make sense of it mentally until she read the article.

To me, her experience is a good example of why it's important to trust our inner instincts in dating, even when they seem to make no sense to our heads. Trusting your gut, or your true essence, is different from having your life run by old beliefs you’ve learned, which are usually not accurate at all. Gut feelings are a knowing, a clear sense, that comes before thought. It’s like the sense of knowing that you are. If someone asks you if you exist your response is automatic: “Yes, of course.” You’d have to exist and be aware of that existence to even have a thought. So knowing comes before thought. Intuition springs from that same source, our true nature.

Belief, however, is always a thought, recalling a memory of something we’ve learned. It’s not based on knowing or direct experience. As we trust our intuition more and more we see that those intuitive impulses – that Life Intelligence – is meant to lead our lives. It blinks our eyes, beats our hearts and brings forth our next thought. All we have to do is follow what’s intuitively obvious and life, including dating, becomes just an easy, enjoyable, peaceful movement of energy. There’s no need to try to mentally psyche out life. We don’t need to try to run the show. Instead, we can just go with what we know is right for us. And our heart, or gut, or intuition tells us what that is.

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer