What will show up in your future dating isn’t worth waiting for simply because you miss now when your focus is on the future. Every time you want something you’re saying, “I’m going to put off my happiness until I get my ‘want’.” On the other hand, the future will show up exactly when it’s meant to, not a moment too late or too soon.
Copyright © 2006 Chuck Custer
I read a statement the other day where a guy said, “In most cases a well-cared-for dog is happier than its owner. All a dog needs is food, shelter and some loving. Look at our list of needs: love, money, power, recognition, and on and on and on. It never stops.” Of course, he’s right. If you just zoom in on one of the needs he mentions, love, our dating can take a couple of paths.
We can date with the idea that we want to share love, and then whatever happens we’ll be happy with. Or we can date with the idea that we need to have the love we’re seeking. In that case we’ll often be suffering and miserable because dating doesn’t usually give us exactly what we think we want. Understanding life clearly, in an enlightened way, means nothing more than realizing that life is just what it is. Some power and infinite intelligence expresses itself as universes and eternity and infinitude and it’s way beyond any intelligence we’ve been given.
Yet we think we know how things should be and we don’t easily accept them as they are. Dogs don’t have that ego-driven idea – that they know. They simply are. And they’re happy. Throughout the centuries awakened individuals have also seen that just by realizing life is they can be happy. Actually, we all have moments of just being every day. Those are the moments when we’re so fully engaged in something that we totally lose track of the idea of a ‘me’ who needs something. It can happen when we’re engrossed in a project we find fascinating, watching a humming bird or taking a walk. In short, it happens every time we have no judgments and opinions about anyone or anything.
How do you live that all the time? Just give some attention to your judgments. They’re easy to see; you never feel fully open and alive and peaceful when you’re judging. When that little “suffer bell” rings just ask yourself, “Do I know I’m right? Is it possible this should be just the way it is?” We haven’t learned to question life so we can see reality. Instead, we so often act on childish habits we picked up that just don’t work. How do we know they’re not working? We suffer – needlessly. All emotional suffering is only thought. Do you want proof of that? In dreamless sleep you have no thought and no suffering. You are your own answer.
Copyright © 2006 Chuck Custer
Most of us were raised in a culture of the West that almost genuflects to pay homage to the mind and thoughts. We believe we can analyze almost anything if we just give enough attention to it. We try our mightiest to figure everything out. But have you noticed that trusting our brains almost never works when it comes to dating? We figure it all out… and damn! it turns out in a way we never dreamed.
Some of the Eastern cultures see life differently. People in those countries have been more often taught to trust their gut, that intuitive part of them, the spiritual wisdom they just ‘know’. Pascal, the noted French philosopher and mathematical genius once said, "The heart has its reasons which reason cannot know."
When we consider that we’re ‘being thought’ rather than being the thinkers (look and you’ll see you don’t choose your thoughts) we might also get a clue that our great reasoning and analytical abilities may not be so trustworthy. But That which animates us and gives us life is what we could consider the intuitive or gut-knowing part of us. It knows what to do automatically and we can be guided by it if we’re willing to drop what we think we know and just listen.
The message here is simple: If something feels right, even though your head can’t make sense of it, why not relax and go with it? If it feels wrong, listen and back away. That God-essence that we are knows what it’s doing. We can relax and stop worrying about making the right decisions. Then we just do the obvious, and the obvious will show up for us when it’s needed, not a minute too soon nor a minute too late.
Copyright © 2006 Chuck Custer
