Tuesday, April 04, 2006

101. Why worry when there’s no future and no “you” to change it?

Have you ever noticed that worry is a totally self-centered stream of thinking? Even when we say we’re worried about a loved one, we may think our worry is for them. Really it’s for ourselves. Behind the concern we have for our loved one is the concern about “what will this do to me?”

It happens in dating as well. Especially in these more mature years when we’d like to share partnership and love with someone as we get older, I’ve noticed there’s often a sense of worry among men and women. There’s the worry about what’ll happen to you if you don’t find a partner. And when you do find someone you worry that she may not want to be with you. If it doesn’t work out will I be able to find another guy or gal?

What I’ve learned, though, is that worry is always only an illusion. First there’s the illusion of a future we know nothing about and that isn’t real. And then there’s the illusion that there’s a “little me” who could do something about it.

Living always happens only now. Thoughts of the past or future only happen now. Even five billion light years from now is only a thought about a future that will never be. When it happens it’s now, because there’s no such thing as future except as thought. The only real and vital thing we could call life happens only now, never any other moment. Before it happens and after it happens are just dead memories.

So when we worry about the future we’re living in a dream. Somehow we think that if we worry about it we’ll be able to do something to control it. The reality is that when tomorrow becomes now we’ll have the resources and know-how to do what needs doing at the time. The same Presence or Power that makes every moment possible also lives us as we’re meant to be lived in that moment.

And that “little me” that thinks it has some control? Is there really a “me” who needs to worry? Or have you noticed that life shows up just the way it does, in its own style and time, for every one of us uniquely. We don’t have a say in it. Even our thoughts we don’t control. If we did would we ever have unhappy thoughts? When our worry thoughts get too heavy wouldn’t we just flip the “off” switch and rest for awhile? But we don’t know where the “off” switch is. And further looking shows there’s no “we” at all. Life or Livingness is living as everything, including people, planets, rain showers, little bugs and flowers that bloom in the spring.

So why worry? When worry thoughts come, notice they’re not yours. You didn’t ask for them. And if you don’t indulge them or fight them they’ll simply drift away. Unless you give them energy they can’t exist. Instead, you can just be in life and watch it roll out in front of you, moment by moment. It might feel helpless at first. We’re trained to “do something”. But if you just see life as it is, without a need to fix or change it, you’ll notice a quiet peace you might not have experienced very often. You could call it living fully -- without worry.

Copyright © 2006 Chuck Custer

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