204. When we trust our deeper wisdom mature dating becomes a romp in the park

All things change, all the time. In the physical world things change because creation changes. Something decays, something else is born. In the thought world too, things change constantly. Even who we think we are changes, just in the space of a day, or even a minute. One moment we see ourselves as loving, a moment later we’re angry and spiteful. One day we love ourselves, the next day we loathe ourselves.

In our dating and partnerships things also change. At one time we think we know exactly who we want as a partner and moments later we’re not so sure. Yet, when things don’t go the way we want them to go we’re upset. We’re in pain. Why? Because we’ve decided we know what’s best for us. With all that uncertainty within us does it make sense to actually believe that thought?

The mind that believes it knows what’s best is a closed mind – inflexible, fixed, stiff and stuck. It’s not open to the wisdom of the way things are. “Out there,” which includes our thoughts, is always changing. But that simple awareness that is the source all things spring from is always waiting in the background as the open, accepting space that allows all things.

That infinite wisdom never changes. It’s what you could call the heart wisdom, the beloved. When you stop believing all your thoughts the heart wisdom is there, reminding you what you’ve always known – that the way life is is the truth. As you question your thoughts, your assumptions, your interpretations, and your judgments, your beliefs of resistance fall away because you see through them. You see they’re not true.

You begin to see life with an open heart. And until you come to life with an open heart and mind you’ll suffer. Through clear investigation you see reality. Almost magically you’re happy, peaceful and free of pain simply by observing life as it is, trusting that the beloved knows its way. You can start by asking yourself, “Do I really know the way life should be; do I need to resist what is and create suffering for myself?”

After all, it’s only when we think something should be different that we suffer. Rather than thinking, “My partner shouldn’t have left me,” we can notice reality and say, “He should have left me and I know that because he did.” That’s seeing life the way it is rather than fighting it, which is crazy. And it’s only that craziness that makes us hurt. In fact, could it possibly be that “what is” is actually best for us?

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer