230. “Futurizing” isn’t a word but it creates lots of stress in mature dating

There’s no word in our dictionaries yet called “futurize” but there should be, I think. Futurizing would describe the habit of fixating on the future, usually with a great deal of concern and stress.In the past I did a lot of futurizing so I know what it feels like from experience. I’d focus on thoughts such as: “When I meet this woman will there be a spark?” “She’s a city person and I’d prefer the country so would we ever be able to live together?” “What if I don’t find a partner and I’m alone for the rest of my life?” There were hundreds of these thoughts I’d snowball into worry and concern.

Then I came upon the teachings of spiritual masters who pointed the way to a clear understanding of life. When I saw that the nature of life is just to be as it is, and that humans are part of that nature, I realized I have nothing to do with “my” future. Ah, all of a sudden I could just relax, knowing the future will be what it is and I don’t have to make anything happen or even wish for anything in particular.

I realized that I’m not breathing myself and that thoughts aren’t mine, they just come. Seeing that I’m being lived simply meant I could be fully in this moment, enjoying the only time there is (this moment), and watching the future roll out before me, including everything about meeting, dating and mating.

Next time you find yourself spending a lot of stressful energy on thoughts and beliefs about your future you might just notice that futurizing is nothing but a bad habit that’s usually not fun. Happiness and peace is letting thoughts about the future float right on by because they won’t make a whit of difference to what will actually happen anyway.

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer