202. Your “thoughts” about reality can make mature dating miserable

When your mind is clear and you’re seeing reality as it is, not believing your thoughts about reality, mature dating becomes as simple as a leaf floating down a stream, serene and happy. As we notice that life always does what it does, with or without our approval, we can see clearly that anyone can come and go in our lives as Life wishes.

The stress of dating is gone when we give up our ideas of how things should go. We don’t even have to give up our ideas, actually. All we have to do is see that we’re not in control and never have been, and our control ideas evaporate by themselves. We see that Life has its own way and we’re being lived as part of that way. We never know what’s best, we just think we do.

As we stick to our judgmental thoughts we hurt. As we question those thoughts and see what really is, we just notice that all things come and go, including people in our lives. If we find people to date, good. If we don’t find someone to date, good. It only means that’s not supposed to be happening for us right now. If someone comes into our lives, good. If that someone – even someone we think is very special – leaves that too is good because we know it’s simply the way of it.

So if someone ends a relationship with you it doesn’t have to be heartbreaking. It’s only heartbreaking when we think it shouldn’t have ended. Seeing the reality that all things end can take the pain out of it. We see that we enjoyed the experience as it was and now it’s obviously time for us to enjoy new experiences. How do we know that? Look, here it comes! Every moment, after all, dies as a new moment is born. That’s simply the way life is.

We can live in harmony with the way things are because they’re going to be that way whether we like it or not. We can go along peacefully and happily or we can go screaming and fighting. Either way we’re going to go. When we stop arguing with reality we’re automatically happy. Some people might call that surrendering to God’s will.

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer