251. The timing for your life and dating couldn’t be better

When you’re really intent on finding a partner soon you’re probably in a lot of emotional pain. Not only are you unhappy while waiting for a partner but you’re probably feeling a lot of concern and dread that it may never happen.

I’ve been single more than 12 years since my second wife died, though I’ve met many women and dated a great deal. My first marriage ended in divorce after 17 years. Then two years later I was married again and was with my second wife for 18 years until her death. That’s a total of 35 years of marriage and I liked the idea of having a mate and partner. So I fully expected I’d probably be married again in a few years.

What I’ve learned, though, as a result of really investigating how life works, is that there is nothing that happens before its time or after its time. It couldn’t be possible because everything that shows up is just the One expressing itself in diverse ways. Now it’s clear to me that in the overall harmony of the universe I’m not supposed to have a partner now. I know it because I don’t. That’s the way the One or Source of all life is living itself out as me right now.

Since it’s animating my every move and heartbeat how could it make a mistake? For something to be called a mistake it would have to be compared to some other thing called “not mistake.” But that would mean there are two and that’s a myth. The idea of a separate, individual “me” who has any independent power and should have my way is only that – an idea. No doctor, doing an autopsy, has ever found something called an “I” or “me” inside anybody. Outside of an idea or thought, none of us has ever been able to locate this thing we call “me” either.

At first that sounds like bad news; we realize we have no control because there’s no “me”. But the exceptionally good news is that we no longer have to try to make life work. We don’t have to struggle to succeed any more. We don’t have to worry that we’re doing something wrong and that’s why we’re not finding a partner. We just notice that we’re moved when it’s time to move, we sleep when it’s time to sleep, we blink, breathe, digest food, allocate nutrients to the right parts of the body – all done in perfect timing because we’re not actually doing any of that. It’s so clear when you look at it that way isn’t it?

Perfect timing is also what’s happening in your relationships because the One just shows up as it wants to and only the idea of a person would argue with it. The simple, peaceful, happy way to live is to simply do what’s obvious for you without opinions and judgments about how things should be. If you doubt that, any time you’re suffering because life isn’t going your way just ask this one simple question: “Do I absolutely and without any doubt KNOW it should be my way?”

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer