184. Mature dating is a fun adventure when you keep one thing in mind

An East Indian sage who died in recent years used to say, “Why do people want what they don’t have? Why not just want what you do have and be happy?” Most of us would scoff at that idea. We’d say that’s a stupid statement because obviously we’re not happy with only what we have or of course we wouldn’t want something more. But have you noticed that life is like the weather? It happens as it happens. Same with dating. We don’t really control things, even though we’ve been conditioned to think we do.

Life is pretty simple to see when you investigate a bit. Actions apparently come from choices we make. Choices come from “our” thoughts. Thoughts come from … oh-oh… where do they come from? We don’t decide what to think next. Thoughts just appear don’t they? We can’t even shut off thinking when we want to. Thinking happens. Seems strange doesn’t it?

But is that any more strange than asking where gravity comes from? Or blue sky? Or the universes? Or gray rocks? Whatever is your answer you know one thing: we’re not the authors. We didn’t create universes or gravity or blue sky or the thoughts that supposedly guide our actions. So where is our control?

Does nature try to control anything? Do animals live in stress because life isn’t going “their” way? Maybe it does, after all, make sense to live as the saints and sages have propounded for centuries, simply seeing life as it really is without imposing our story of how it should be. It’s only that story we make up that causes us suffering. Dating is a good place for story-making don’t you think?

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer