187. Trust what is and you’ve got all the dating security you could ever want

Dating, especially in our senior years – or maybe even more so in our senior years – often includes having a lot of expectations and hopes. Dating of this kind isn’t free and fun. It’s loaded with stress. The man or woman who’s dating with expectations is always on guard, watching to see if those expectations are being fulfilled: Did he kiss me warmly when we met or was it just a peck on the lips? Did she sound really interested when I suggested spending a weekend together or was it just a polite response? He didn’t even tell me I looked nice and he usually does; I wonder what that means?

Analyzing and qualifying and expecting and hoping don’t leave us free to just enjoy the moment as it is. What if, instead, you could just trust that life is always exactly as it is. If the weather is rainy it’s supposed to be rainy of course. How could it be other than what it is? If your lady doesn’t seem enthusiastic about going away for a weekend, there’s no mistake. To you she doesn’t seem enthusiastic. And, by the way, that doesn’t even mean she’s not. You may have misinterpreted. To find out, all you have to do is ask.

When you trust life to be exactly the way it is in every moment you’re never disappointed. You want security? This is security: You can always depend on life being what it is. Simple. If you don’t believe your thoughts you needn’t have hopes or expectations, or even fears. Those are all futurizing thoughts and the future hasn’t arrived yet, have you noticed? The future is an illusion. But this moment?... ah, this moment is alive, crackling with energy, surprising us with its next move. We can either notice it and delight in it… or not. It’s the only thing that’s real. Why not live in the contentment of reality rather than in a painful fantasy land?

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer