213. Ending the discouragement and heartache of mature dating is as simple as seeing life the way it is

At first it’s difficult for nearly everyone to even begin to consider, let alone embrace, the ideas we’re sharing in the articles in this blog. “Leave things alone? Let life be just the way it is? How could I do that? If I don’t take care of things for myself, who will?” These are the kinds of thoughts we have about this way of viewing life. I know. I’ve been there. And I’ve sat in countless meetings over many years where people, in dialogue with someone sharing true understanding, have asked these same questions.

Yet, this way of seeing life is ancient. Those wise ones over the ages who drew followers because of the calm, happy way they lived have been saying the same thing: Recognize that life just is the way it is and leave it alone. Notice that some Infinite Intelligence seems to know what it’s doing.

Since dating in our mature or senior years can often be so stressful and we can feel so hurt when our hopes and expectations are dashed finding clarity can be heaven on earth. It can be the end of heartache and suffering for those able to give up old concepts and be open to a new way of seeing.

The opening words of the Hsin Hsin Ming, words from a Chinese master of centuries ago, sum up the teachings well:

The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth then hold no opinion for or against. The struggle of what one likes and what one dislikes is the disease of the mind.

It’s only due to our habit of accepting and rejecting that we don’t see the true nature of things, the way life actually is. Stop judging and we realize that ease, happiness, and peace have been with us all along. We simply had covered it with our “shoulds” and “oughts”.

Copyright © 2007 Chuck Custer