18. "What is" rules; "should be" is only fantasy

One test of reality is what the Ancients have used over the centuries. What’s real, they say, is just “what is”. Or another way to say it is that facts are real. When we add our interpretation to those facts, though, we’ve got a whole different issue. Now we’ve got a story of our own making instead of reality. The fact has been covered over with our story, and most of the time that story is painful to us.

Yet many beliefs we’ve learned over the years don’t seem like a story. They appear to be real. For example: You’ve dated a woman several times and now she won’t return your emails or phone calls. You say to yourself, I was kind to her, we seemed to have a good time together and now she’s ignoring me. She should at least be kind enough to tell me what’s going on. I don’t deserve to be treated like this.

That seems pretty real doesn’t it? Most people would no doubt agree with you. But let’s take that apart a bit for a better look. Stripped to basics what’s the fact? The fact is the woman won’t respond to you. No story there, that’s just the way it is. If you had no interpretation or judgment about that it wouldn’t cause any pain. But when we add the judgment, “It should be different we hurt. That's because we're trying to make our dream real. Dreams are never real.

Everyone knows a woman should treat a decent man with respect don’t they? But is that belief valid when you shove it up against reality? No. What’s true is that women treat men like that sometimes don’t they? Maybe we’ve even done something similar ourselves. She isn’t returning your calls. That’s the way it is.

Forget what we think is supposed to happen. “What is always rules. “But,” you could argue, “just because it is doesn’t mean it should be.” But wait a minute. Can you really change what already is? It may change in the next minute, but right now it’s the way it is. Period. And since we’re not running this universe how can we say we know more than God (Intelligence Energy) about how things should be? Maybe it’s simpler to see that all happens as it does and drop our certainty that we’re right. If we do, what do we feel? Usually a whole lot of peace. Maybe that’s a sign that we’d be wiser to float with the river rather than trying to swim upstream. After all, if the woman is supposed to return your call it’ll happen. Don’t fret, don’t judge, just BE.