58. Your painful programming can be gone in a flash when you stay in "now"

You might think you’ve been programmed to respond to situations in certain ways, or you have an image of yourself that’s been programmed for many years. These old programs can get easily triggered in a dating relationship because we’ve got something at stake. We want a partner. A guy I knew was married for many years to a woman who would just clam up when there was difficulty. That was probably her programming, and it just took over and that’s how she responded every time there was difficulty in the relationship. No communication. Great manipulation. The older you are the stronger the programming! Bummer!!! <Joking> But let’s take a look at programming or conditioning for a minute.

What is conditioning? It’s a memory of repeated messages we’ve taken in from others or given ourselves isn’t it? Someone may have told us we were stupid many times as a kid; we took in that message and even added to it by telling ourselves the same thing. So we say we’ve been programmed to feel stupid. People often act as though they’re victims of that conditioning. But anything from the past, including conditioning, shows up now only as a memory doesn’t it? It really doesn’t exist. It’s just a thought that we call memory because it’s from the past. There is no such thing as the past except as a memory that appears only in the moment. Right now.

Without thinking about it, how programmed are you? It’s not possible to actually be programmed. It’s only possible to have a memory of programming. Yet programming can have an effect if we don’t examine our thoughts. If an old memory tape plays and we’re not even aware of it then the programming is working. However, you don’t need a rocket scientist to become aware when programs are playing. Usually you’re not feeling happy at that time. You’re suffering. And the suffering is a clanging bell that says, something needs fixing here, just like pain in the body is a signal to get help.

So when you notice you’re hurting emotionally just stop for a minute. Stop and notice what you’re thinking. If you’ve got an old programming tape playing – one of those things you believe because you know you’ve heard it at least a thousand times – now you can know that it’s nothing more than a thought. See through it and it loses its power. After all, programming is just a phantom that seems real, just as you think a mirage will give you water, until you see the reality. It seems that we really are stupid because of the programming. But without thoughts there is no programming and no “stupid” feeling. It doesn’t take years on a therapist’s couch. Just notice your false thoughts and come back to “now”, that’s all.

Copyright © 2006 Chuck Custer