64. “He left me for a new lover”… is that good news or bad?

There’s an old Chinese story you may have heard about a poor farmer, barely eking out a living, who went out to his barn one morning to find his only horse had escaped. The horse was his only means of plowing his land and providing a meager living for his family. The neighbors heard about it and said, “Oh, you poor man. You’ve lost your only horse, what a tragedy.” The farmer said, “Well, maybe yes and maybe no.”

A couple of mornings later the farmer went out to tend his fields and noticed that his horse was back, and a herd of wild horses had followed him so now he had a herd of horses. The neighbors found out and said, “Oh, you lucky guy. Now you’re rich.” The farmer said, “Well, maybe yes and maybe no.”

The next day the farmer’s only son, who helped him on the farm, was breaking one of the wild horses and was thrown and broke his hip. The neighbors said, “Oh, you poor fella. Now you have no one to help you with the planting and you won’t have crops this year.” The farmer said, “Well, maybe yes and maybe no.”

A few days later officials from the military came to the house to draft the young man for war. But with his broken hip they couldn’t take him. The neighbors said, “Oh, you’re so blessed. All our sons have to fight and be killed but your son gets to stay home safely with you.” And the farmer said, “Well, maybe yes and maybe no.”

The point of the story, of course, is that we don’t know what the future will bring. Yet we spend a lot of energy fretting and worrying about a future that isn’t real. It’s only a thought in our heads. So if someone you’re attracted to doesn’t want to date you any more, is that good news or bad? If your lover suddenly finds a new lover, or cheats on you, is that good news or bad? We just don’t know. What we do know is that life is just what it is, and it’s always changing. Without opinions you can just let it be and watch. You might be surprised that what you see is nothing like the dreaded picture you had painted in your head.

Copyright © 2006 Chuck Custer